


Tell You Something

by literalgaytrash



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Homophobic Language, also maggie needs so many hugs, in like?? the first few paragraphs i think, this is really maggie centric yikes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:00:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8637895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literalgaytrash/pseuds/literalgaytrash
Summary: Maggie has never been good with expressing her feelings.
Maggie has never been good with expressing her feelings but she's able to get out, "You're really important to me, and I hope one day you and I can be friends, because I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it." And after Alex responds with "Pool. Tomorrow night." she thinks maybe she's not as bad with words as she thought she was.





	

**Author's Note:**

> when i say maggie centric i mean a good 70% of this is about maggie and alex is only in like the last 800 words. this is my first attempt at fic so i apologize if it's terrible lmao.  
> (also this is kind of in the layout of those "the five times she didn't and the one time she did" sort of fics so, like?? enjoy i guess??)

One   
Maggie Sawyer is sixteen years old when she comes out, and in Nebraska coming out is an experience. It's not exactly like she was popular before she came out, she had a couple friends of course, but now people go out of their way to avoid her. Well, some people avoid her, and she doesn’t mind them so much. It's the people who go out of their way to make her life a living hell she has an issue with. There's no shortage of people like that. 

Maggie is sixteen years old and she is terrified, because she lives in a country where half the population would rather have a dead child than a gay child, where she gets ridiculed everyday for liking women. Maggie is sixteen when she realizes how fucked up that is, because there is nothing wrong with her. Not everyone sees it like that, though. 

Most of the time, the people who bother her are at school and she doesn’t put up with them. In fact, she's gotten into numerous arguments with ignorant, close minded hicks at school in the past two months alone. The worst one was probably the most recent one with a freshman named Ethan Smith, and it all started when Maggie heard the word "dyke" spat in her direction. 

Maggie turned slowly, pulling her headphones out of her ears. "I'm sorry," she started, "did you have something you wanted to say to me, Smith?"   
"Yeah, Sawyer," he sneered, "I was just wondering how it feels knowing you're the biggest freak in this school." His buddies who were surrounding him chuckled and jeered. 

"Oh well, I'm not sure lesbian really outranks someone who willingly dated their first cousin," she says motioning to one of the boys behind Ethan, "but if you're more comfortable with incest than homosexuality, then I guess that says more about you than I need to point out." She puts her headphones back in and calmly walks towards her next class. 

Things like that happen to her at least twice a week and, for the most part, she's used to it. She may live in a very homophobic town but her parents are both very supportive and they always taught her to stand up for herself. So she does, at least, when it's people her own age saying it. Adults, however, are a different story. 

They're at family Christmas and she can't even remember why it got brought up, but her aunt and uncles are discussing gay people. Her parents aren't there, thank god, but Maggie is, and she hears all of it. 

"I'm not homophobic, like, do what you want, it's just, like," Maggie overhears her aunt say one night, "I don’t wanna see it and I don’t support it, you know?" 

Maggie doesn’t know. Doesn’t know why someone would automatically hate someone for being gay. Even before she came out, she didn’t understand. What she does understand is that being out to certain people could be potentially dangerous and heartbreaking. So, she doesn’t come out to her extended family, because that way she can pretend they’ll still love her no matter what. She's rudely awaken when she turns eighteen, when half her family disowns her. 

Two   
Coincidentally, the year after most of her extended family stops talking to her, Maggie gets her first girlfriend. They're both in college, far away from that little town in Nebraska, and they meet in the quad one day because Maggie is an oblivious freshman who gets lost on the way to her first class and Crystal was nice enough to assist her in finding it. 

She's beautiful, with long black hair and stunning green eyes. Maggie really likes her. As far as first relationships go, it's not a complete disaster. They get along perfectly and they're together for roughly six months. For the first four months or so everything is perfect. Maggie isn't in love but she definitely could be. It’s the last two months that are really bad. 

Maggie is stressed. College isn't as easy as she thought it was going to be and there is absolutely no way she can flunk out. She's rather die than return home and face her family knowing she failed. 

It starts gradually, a couple missed phone calls and forgotten plans. Crystal understands for the most part, but she becomes frustrated. It's their six month anniversary and Maggie forgets. She's so caught up in her little corner of the library writing a paper that’s due the next week that she just doesn’t leave for the entire day. Crystal waits at the restaurant for half an hour, texts Maggie at least ten times and eventually goes to find her. 

Their breakup a couple weeks later is as messy as it possibly could be. They're in the middle of Maggie's dorm room and they're both on the verge of tears. Selfish is one of the words Crystal uses to describe Maggie and she doesn’t correct her, because Maggie feels selfish. She feels like shit. Crystal storms out after the break up and only then does Maggie allow herself to cry. 

Three   
Maggie is almost twenty-three in her first real relationship. She's had flings, of course, but this is serious. Her name is Gracie and she is, Maggie thinks, the love of her life. 

(Maggie isn't a romantic necessarily but she really loves her.) 

Gracie is a petite brunette with freckles and curly black hair and big brown eyes and she loves Maggie too. They're together for over two years and Maggie sees a future with her. She tries so hard to put Gracie first, but with the stress of her new job and her mother's declining health, it's hard to prioritize her own relationship.   
Maggie's mom dies in the beginning of the second year of their relationship. She attends the funeral and not only does she have to mourn her mother, she has to do it while putting up with her ignorant, close minded relatives that her mom didn’t even like. There is a noticeable shift in her behavior in the months following. She becomes cold, more distant. Gracie really tries her best to be there for her but it's difficult when all she does is push her away. 

Maggie comes home late. She spends most of her time at the precinct. She throws herself into her work because nothing else helps. 

Gracie breaks up with her six months after her mom dies. She says it's not her fault, that they'd been drifting apart for a long time, that they could still be friends. 

(It is her fault. They hadn't been drifting apart, Maggie pushed her away. They don’t stay friends.) 

Maggie honestly sees is coming but it still hurts. Of course it hurts. Everything hurts. She lets Gracie say all of this and she doesn’t try to stop it, because she deserves this. She deserves to feel like this, like her heart is being ripped out of her chest, so she doesn’t say anything; she just lets it hurt. 

Four   
Her name is Madeline and they're fuck buddies. It's all Maggie has time for. Madeline really is a cool person, Maggie knows this, she just can't be bothered to offer more than a casual friends with benefits relationship. She's very upfront about that too. Madeline is super accepting of that, goes along with it perfectly. Their arrangement is simple really, basically what every fuck buddy relationship is like. 

Well, it's simple until Madeline starts to develop feelings about three months in. She doesn’t tell Maggie at first but when she does, Maggie doesn’t take it well. 

Maggie is the one who ends it this time. She says she doesn’t feel the same way, that she won't lead Madeline on when she knows she won't be able to reciprocate her feelings. Maggie is the one who ends it and she still ends up getting hurt. 

Madeline calls her many things, mainly a self-centered workaholic with major commitment issues, which Maggie thinks is a pretty shitty thing to say to someone that you have feelings for, even if it is slightly true. She doesn’t say that, though. She understands what it's like to have unrequited feelings so she lets Madeline rant. They end things and after that Maggie gets a new job in National City. She doesn’t see Madeline again. 

Five   
Maggie quickly makes National City her home. She finds a bar, an alien bar, where she's comfortable. She partakes in a fling with one of the bartenders that ends just as quickly as it begins. It's few months after that when she meets Jennifer. 

She's a barista at the coffee shop near Maggie's work. Maggie thinks she's attractive and it's been awhile since she's been involved with anyone so when Jennifer asks for her number, Maggie gives it to her. They date casually for a few weeks and they don’t put labels on anything. Maggie actually starts to develop feelings for her, something she hasn’t done since she and Gracie broke up. 

Everything is going great. She has a good job and a decent love life and she genuinely feels happy for the first time in years. Just when Maggie thinks things couldn’t get any better, someone tries to kill the president. Well, she's not exactly happy that someone is trying to kill the president, more so she's happy about who she meets because someone tried to kill the president. 

Alex Danvers works for some fancy government agency and because of this she thinks she can tell Maggie where her jurisdiction ends and begins. It's cute. Alex is cute. Maggie acknowledges this and she works with it. 

"Some fancy government agency" turns out to be the DEO, because of course Alex works with aliens everyday. Maggie takes her to the bar, something she hasn’t even done for Jennifer yet, and she decides she likes Alex. Not necessarily in a romantic way either. It's just been awhile since Maggie has had a decent friend and Alex seems to understand her. 

Not only does Alex understand her, she makes an amazing partner. Maggie was never good with working with other people but it comes naturally with Alex. They click in a way she's never clicked with anyone else. Maggie feels like everything is falling into place. She honestly shouldn't be surprised when it goes to shit. 

It's a Wednesday when Jennifer breaks up with her. They were hanging out in Maggie's apartment and it just slips out casually, as if she were discussing the weather and not breaking up with someone. That's what hurts the most, Maggie thinks. The fact that Jennifer was able to call her hard-headed, insensitive, obsessed with work, and borderline sociopathic without any malice. She said it as if she were just stating facts. And maybe she was, Maggie thinks, because all of her exes have said the same thing and it's unlikely that they're all wrong. So, she thinks, maybe the problem is herself. She doesn’t give Jennifer a response, she just asks her to leave, because that’s the only thing she can think to do. The thought of defending herself doesn’t even occur to her. 

And One   
Alex kisses her, and if the timing wasn’t absolutely fucking terrible, Maggie would be thrilled. The timing is absolutely fucking terrible though, so she pulls back and she can see how much that hurts Alex. She doesn’t answer Maggie's calls or texts for a couple weeks and Maggie starts to get worried. Alex really is Maggie's only friend in the city and, call her selfish, but Maggie doesn’t want to lose her over a misunderstanding. 

Maggie finds her at the bar with her friends and sister and decides to talk to her, which goes as well as suspected. It's awkward. Alex seems to have taken her "not now" as a "never" and Maggie doesn’t know how to make that better. The thing is, Maggie likes Alex. She likes her a lot actually, but expressing feelings has never been her strong suit. So she ends the conversation with "Still friends?" and hopes it's enough. 

It's not enough because, according to Alex, they're not friends. Maggie is so lost because she didn’t necessarily mess anything up but everything has become so complicated and she doesn’t know how to fix it. Alex tells her a lot of things, but the one thing that really sticks in her head is that all Alex feels is pain because Maggie doesn't want her. And that’s Maggie's fault for not communicating her feelings better. She tries to tell Alex that, no, that's not the case at all, but Alex cuts her off and walks away. 

Maggie shows up to Kara's apartment because she can't put up with not talking to Alex anymore. Alex gives her two minutes, which is more than Maggie thought she was going to get. She can feel her pulse in her throat as she tries to get the words out without stuttering. She needs Alex to know what she means to her. Maggie has never been good with expressing her feelings but she's able to get out, "You're really important to me, and I hope one day you and I can be friends, because I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it." And after Alex responds with "Pool. Tomorrow night." she thinks maybe she's not as bad with words as she thought she was.


End file.
